I was 26 years old when I met my husband. I was working as an HR Generalist for a aerospace manufacturing company. At the time the company was in the process of moving into a new, much larger facility, so we decided to do a job fair. I was sitting at a table in the lobby handing folks applications when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
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It was one of the maintenance guys named Dave. Dave introduced me to one of the contractors who was working on our building expansion. Dave told me that this young man is about to graduate and is interested in any open engineering positions we might have. When I looked up at this young man, as Dave called him, I was immediately drawn to his eyes. I had never see eyes so beautiful before. If golden honey and a rich sage green had a baby, it would be this man’s eyes.
After he filled out his application, I gave him my card with my company email address. If he had any questions about the status of his application, he could contact us at the office. (When I said us, I meant me). A few days later I got my first email from him. After a few emails back and forth, we were going on our first date. I learned a lot about him that day. One of the things I learned about him was that he had a Harley. I had never even thought about riding a motorcycle. Mostly because I am a big chicken about getting hurt and riding was so dangerous. However on that night, something about seeing him on that Harley was extra attractive. I knew then that unfortunately he would not be getting the engineering position. The HR lady shouldn’t be dating the new handsome motorcycle riding engineer, after all.
The Moment the Wall Went up
Just as I wanted to know more about the biker world I was so naive of, the harsh realities of how dangerous motorcycles can be hit us like ton of bricks. On my way back to work after a lunch date, Marcos was in a motorcycle accident. He wasn’t wearing any gear, not even a helmet. I was right behind him in my car and saw the whole thing. It happened so fast. I don’t even remember putting the car in park. The only thing I remember was not seeing him move as he laid on the street.
All I could do was cry out to God and beg him not to take my boyfriend. It was only about 20 seconds but it felt like an eternity before I saw him move. He slowly stumbled off of the street to the side of the road. When I got to him he was holding his arm that he couldn’t move and the gash on his forehead was big enough that I could see the white of his skull. There was a lot of blood.
Before I knew it the ambulance was rushing him on a stretcher to take him to the emergency room. One of the paramedics grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes and asked me “Sweetheart, what is your name?” I mumbled something that sounded like my name but I am not sure through all of the tears. He squeezed my shoulders gently and told me “He is not going to die today sweetheart. He is hurt but he will get through this and he needs you now. Are you with me?”. Somehow this man was able to bring me back to reality. I realized that Marcos was going to be okay, but he needed me.
I will spare you the in-depth hospital details but it involved treating most of his body as a burn victim due to road rash, stapling his skull closed and re-attaching part of his ear. For the next few weeks I nursed him back to health. I brought him food and changed his gauze several times a day. Something happened to me during that time. I felt like if life was like this forever, I would be okay with that. It brought me joy to take care of him. I knew then that I was falling in love with my ex-biker boyfriend.
Yes, he was an ex-biker. He was an ex-biker because I said so. Obviously God wants him alive and He has plans for him so no more motorcycles. Ever. Period. Not even up for discussion. That was the moment the wall went up. I would hate motorcycles forever.
The Moment God Made Me Rethink My Way
Later that year we got married. As the years went by, Marcos would dream about riding again. So often I would see him looking at the Harley Davidson Instagram page or I would see him watching videos about them on YouTube. Every day I knew he was dreaming about feeling the wind in his hair again.
I know how much he loved his bike but I just couldn’t get past the visual of him laying in the street, broken, bloodied and not moving. Inside I knew forbidding him to get a motorcycle was not the right thing to do. I mean, lets be real: if he forbade me to do something I loved, I would probably have a fit. I would accuse him of not allowing me to be, well, me. If he made me give up gardening or writing I would always feel like something is missing. It is a part of me that I cannot run from. But even knowing and understanding this, I still kept silent. I didn’t want to let him know that I was even considering being “okay” with him getting back on a motorcycle.
Even though it was killing him, he honored my wishes. Marcos has always been in the business of making me happy. Even if it meant sacrificing one of the things he loved to do the most.
Just before our 8th year anniversary, he told me that he would like to go visit the new Harley Store that is in town just to look around. He had a big smile, devious smile on his face. I have no idea what happened to my voice but my mouth opened and strange sounds started coming out. In that moment, I looked at him and told him “I don’t want to be that wife that says you can’t do things because I say so. I am not your dictator, we are partners. You supported me in this crazy idea of getting a farm and blogging so if you ever get a bike again just promise me you will always be in full gear no matter how hot it is outside”.
There was a moment of silence. He was in shock by what I said and I was in shock at what came out of my mouth. I never intended to say that and honestly I wasn’t sure at the time if I meant it but I cannot deny that I was feeling it deep down inside. I was scared. One of the beautiful traits that was passed down from my mother is the need for control. I NEED to know things are going to be alright. I NEED to ensure that Marco and I are going to grow old together.
In this moment, I felt all of the “what if’s” flooding in. What if I let him get this motorcycle and he gets into an accident and is not as “lucky” as he was last time. It will be my fault because I “let” him do it. Just when the worry came crawling up my stomach and into my throat, a sense of peace came over me. Marcos looked at me with those honey-green eyes I fell in love with all those years ago and said “Really?!” It was that look, those eyes in that moment when I felt an overwhelming peace come over me. It was as if he was waiting for years for me to say what I had just ‘accidentally’ said. That was the moment when my stubborn wall began to crack and God made me rethink “my way”.
The Moment the Wall I Built Came Crumbling Down
Marcos did not waste any time. It wasn’t long before he came home with a beautiful Harley Davidson. This was the day my husband bought a motorcycle, again. He was so giddy and it was adorable. He kept his promise and made sure to buy all of the gear. It had been years since he had been on a motorcycle so he even signed up for a motorcycle course. He took the bike almost every day after work to a local park. The parking lot was normally empty during the week so he would practice to build up his skill. 
Little by little I started to feel more comfortable with him on the bike. He went to a local event and he told me that he wished I would be there with him. Little did he know that lately, for some crazy reason, I was wishing I had the guts to get on the bike with him. I see couples riding together all of the time. They seemed like they were having the time of their lives. The thought of me getting on the bike completely freaked me out and at the same time I felt this little voice telling me that this bike will bring us even closer together.
Wait, what? Pump the brakes there God. How on earth will a motorcycle bring us closer together. Nope, I am completely comfortable with our level of closeness, thank you very much. This thought of me getting on a motorcycle lingered for weeks. Every time it would creep into my mind, I would force my mind to go back to that scary day years ago.
There came a point when I just couldn’t ignore the desire of just wanting to know how it feels. What was it about being on a motorcycle that made my husband so happy and feel so free? That was the day I told him that I wanted to learn how to ride with him. The moment the words came out of my mouth, that smile came. That smile I love so much and those kind beautiful eyes I can no longer say no to. It was really happening. I was going to get on this contraption that I have been scared of for over 8 years.
That first day we got to the park very early before all of the little league games started. There was only one other car in the big parking lot. I had followed him in my car. The moment I parked, I realized that I was behind him in my car just as I was all of those years ago. I hit me that I didn’t even think about that the whole way to the park. Does this mean I am cured from this crazy fear that I’ve held on for so long?
I sat there in deep thought when I was startled by a knock on my window. He looked at me like “Um okay crazy, are you going to come out or just continue to talk to yourself?” I got out of my car and he handed me his helmet and motorcycle jacket. The night before he made me watch a safety video on how to be a good passenger. Basically do nothing but breathe and hold on. (Totally exaggerating here.) The video did give me a bit of insight on what to expect so when he was ready he told me to get on. I climbed on the back and held on. He said “Are you ready baby?”. “I think so”, I said.
And just like that, slow and steady we were off. We spent the whole morning twisting and turning. Going fast, slow and practicing turns and sudden stops. When he brought the bike to a stop and turned it off, the first thing out of my mouth was “Are we done already?”.
I couldn’t even believe the words that were coming out of my mouth but I couldn’t deny how much fun I was having! I never thought in a million years that I would enjoy it as much as I did. Seeing my husband overjoyed because I had a blast made the day even sweeter. That was the moment when the wall that I had build out of fear and the need for control, came crumbling down.
The Moment God Replace My Broken Wall with His Promise
We immediately went to the local Harley Davidson store and got me all of the gear I needed. Every weekend after that we went out on the bike and practiced. We started spending more time together than we ever had. If you know us well, you know that making friends is not our strong suit. Both Marcos and I are pretty introverted. Who would of thought that we would actually start to make friends with other biker couples? We were always close. Marcos has always been my best friend, but this was different. This was a deeper level of connectedness. One that we had yet to tap into.
We had been looking for a local church for a long time. We went to some great churches but none of them gave us that “this is home” feeling. After searching online for Christian motorcycle events I saw a suggested link for a church. I clicked on the link and lo and behold, it was a biker church! Yes, you read that right! It was a church dedicated to biker ministry and it was close to our home. I knew we had to check it out and we did. After one visit we knew that this is where God wanted us to be to help us grow in our faith. There was a reason none of the other churches felt like the right fit for us. God had other plans. Shortly after getting settled into our new church, the Lord called my husband into a biker ministry. It’s such a beautiful, and humbling, thing to see how the Lord is using him in a world I swore to keep him from.
So here we are, so many years later, and we have completely reinvented our marriage. We have gained a level intimacy that wasn’t there before. One that we didn’t even know we needed. By the grace of God, he has led us to this new chapter. A chapter that I tried to run away from for so long. God used my stubbornness to teach me that we are not in control. We will never understand His path for us until we are through it. It is our job to allow Him to lead us to his promises.
The Things I Pray I Never Forget
In Jeremiah 10:23, Jeremiah prays stating “Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.” I think this is one of the hardest things to admit as Christians. It is in our nature to control our next steps. We know that God already has a plan for us but we continue to ignore that. We try so hard to figure things out for ourselves that we forget to look up. Then we come running to God asking him why this certain door did not open at the exact time we wanted it to open.
If you sit and mediate on this verse you begin to see that all God wants us to do is to follow Him. He will then guide our steps. Is this an easy thing to do? Not in the slightest. It is going to hurt. You will be scared. You may even fight God on it like I did for so long. But when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, God slowly mends the broken pieces and begins to guide you to the place he has designed for you to be. It may not be the way you wanted, but you will know that it was the way HE wanted by the peace in your heart.
I tell you this story about our motorcycle (yes it is our motorcycle now) because this is the story that God has placed on my heart to tell. There are so many other areas of my life that this same passage could apply to. No matter what you are going through, God’s message is the same. He wants you to trust in Him. Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understandings”. This is one of the most famous passages in the Bible. You may have it memorized, but do you live it?
God is still working in me. I will forever be a work in progress as his calling on my life changes from chapter to chapter. I am human and there will be times when I don’t understand why I have to go through what I am going through. My prayer will forever be that I never forget how it feels when you completely surrender to God and allow him to take the reigns. Total freedom in Him.
Blessing XOXO
Until Next Time,
Eva
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Wow. I am deeply moved and inspired by your blog post. it is hard to surrender our fears to the Lord but it is so freeing and liberating when we do! I’m sure that is what you are feeling now. Freedom. Thank you for sharing such a personal testimony. I pray God continues to bless and protect your marriage.
Thank you so much Jenny! 🙂
It is awesome that you were able to move past the fear of motorcycles and share the passion with your husband. I lost mine in a motorcycle accident and I can never forgive motorcycles, but he was also not wearing a helmet, so I think the compromise of him always being geared up is a great one. I hope you guys enjoy many more years of bike life and an eternity of happiness in your marriage!!
Hi Steph! I am so sorry for your loss. Obviously this has been such a great fear of mine but it was something I am glad I have been able to give the control back to God…..knowing He had control the whole time. I appreciate your well-wishes! Thank you so much for reading! 🙂
Wow! Beautiful post! AND it sounds so familiar. My hubby was in a minor motorcycle accident when we first started dating and I have been that wife who says he can’t have another. I never thought about how my “no” to him could also be about a wall of distrust. Great post.
I am running into so many women who have similar motorcycle stories! It was definitely a process to get to this point. Thank you so much for your feedback! 🙂
I am proud of you for letting go of your fear and letting God take control. Motorcycles are either something you have the bug for or not. You can’t give your bug to someone else and you really can’t give it up for someone either. It’s not just the machine. It’s the culture. Have fun!
Thank you Nicki! Yes that is so true! It is absolutely a culture! 🙂
Eva that was such an excellent read. Isn’t it funny how the events that happen to us shape us and how the Lord brings us to exactly where we are supposed to be? I loved this story. I have a picture above my desk and the quote reads “someday you’ll look back and realize that nothing was ever random.” I think you were always meant to take that ride – you just needed to have that experience to really appreciate it. <3
Thank you so much for the encouraging words Michelle! I absolutely believe that God lets us go through things in order to shape us. You are right, nothing is random. Everything has been ordained even though we may not know it or understand it. God is in control and He has a plan. Thanks again Michelle! 🙂
A powerful read Eve – it’s very difficult to let go of fears. I hope you and your husband have many more years of fun on the bike. love bec from Manchester (ps I’m a fellow gardener)
Thank you so much Bec! Looking forward to connecting with you!
It’s hard to move past the fear of getting hurt, or losing someone from a motorcycle accident. I actually met my husband at a benefit fora young man who lost his life on a motorcycle due to the bike slipping on sand after the winter. But my husband was undeterred. He still rode (w/o a helmet) and we traveled all over with his bike. But things do change. Even after my husband’s best friend was hurt in a really bad motorcycle accident from a drunk motorcyclist, he still wants to ride. But more precautions are taken like: riding with full leather gear, a helmet and riding with at least one other bike. It’s scary out there. People are in too much of a hurry, don’t think, don’t look and don’t care. But it’s hard to not follow one’s heart. I commend you for your bravery to let him follow his heart and enjoy the ride. It’s hard to do, but seeing the joy in their eyes and hearts is worth it.
Great post-Eva! I definitely have a huge fear of motorcycles. I use to ride Harleys a lot in my younger days, but as I get older I refuse to get on one due to the fact that I lost a friend in a motorcycle accident and another friend lost one of his legs. But, I know it’s always in God’s hands and you need to learn to get over your fears and let go! Best wishes to you and your husband! Thanks for sharing! 😉
Wow, what a fantastic story! You really sucked me in! 🙂 My husband has a motorcycle and I’ve never been a fan….you have me rethinking that!
Thank you so much Christen! It was definitely a hard thing to do but God had a plan! 🙂
Absolutely in love with this story! It is very hard to let go and let God move on His plans for us. I, like you, can be a control freak (not as bad as the hubby with plans for our future though lol). And also, I, like you (well not you anymore lol) have a fear of motorcycles lol as you already know. Thankfully I don’t have to face that fear anytime soon though lol. But when the day comes where I have to come out of my comfort zone for anything, I hope to be as courageous as you and go with God’s flow. God Bless You!!!
Thank you <3 Love you guys!
Nena pero que brutal! Me encantó la historia! Me hiciste reír y llorar a la vez! I’m happy to see you happy! Love you with all my heart ❤️
Gracias! 🙂 I am happy it was a blessing. Love you too!
This was so good, Eva! Thank you for telling your story and obeying God when He put it on your heart to share.
I had a similar experience when I met my husband except he was a downhill smoker and I was a ballroom dance instructor who couldn’t afford to get hurt!
After seeing how excited he became when I decided to try it was priceless.
This is awesome and a reminder of my accident a couple of years ago, after the accident and surgery my wife also told me something very similar, and I tried not to want a bike again just as I am sure your husband did, but like him I kept looking at the pictures and listening every time I heard a bike just to see if I could tell if it was a Harley or not lol. Like your husband I have since gotten another bike but mine is a work in progress, hopefully later this year I will be riding again.
Great article! My husband has a motorcycle and it brings him untold joy. I’m not a fan but I recognize that he needs to have time on it the way I need to write and do the things I love to do. I pray for his protection all the time. I am very uneasy on it myself but I do ride with him occasionally and am starting to enjoy that time with him more now that our kids are grown up. Thanks for writing!
Wow, that is a beautiful story and I know exactly how you feel. I have never had good experiences with motorcycles. My husband had been riding since he was a teenager and always wanted to ride again. He knew that I only had bad memories of them and held off for about 15 years and then a few years ago he bought one. So far so good! I do hope that your experience continues to be good.
What a great read! We too have a motorcycle and I have dealt with similar fears and anxieties. Once I finally took the leap, and went a long I’ve had the time of my life! I do pray from the time I get on to the time I get off though, there’s so many careless people out there. I love the “Biker Church” idea too. I will have to search around for some of those. Great work and great writing!
Wow, what a story! My wife and I have talked about me getting a motorcycle before. We have come to the agreement that when the children are grown we can consider getting one. I understand the position motorcycles put wives in. They are dangerous. But that’s part of the excitement.
Great Post Eva! It is so hard getting over something that has previously caused you to fear.
I am so proud of you! A friend of mine was killed in a four-wheeler accident when I was a teenager and ever since then I have been terrified to ride. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to face my fears as you were.
Wow! What an incredible story! I’m so glad he made it out of his accident ok and uses all the proper gear now when he rides. I always worry when I see people on their bikes without even a helmet on. He was saved by God for a reason, that’s for sure!
Thanks for sharing this vulnerable post – an attitude for letting GOd be God – great encouragement for all ! I love your book picks too !
Such a great reminder of letting God have full control! I have been where you were … and are, so I understand the challenge of trusting God when you KNOW how badly things could turn out. Kudos to you for allowing God to tear down that wall. His way is always better!
I appreciate your story, and vulnerbility in the way you shared. Your courage to overcome your fear of motorcyles is inspiring. Thank you for being real, and also showing us the positive of pushing through! Thank you for your focus on faith, and what God teaches you through this life journey!
Your story made me cry. For the last year or so, I have been struggling with my own traumas. It just seems like it has been one trauma after another. I spend an entire year feeling the most severe anxiety of my life. A large part of my trauma was leaving mu church of 15 years. Though I did not go for the entire 15 years, the last 4-1/2 were when I devoted my entire life to God. It was a huge spiritual blow to my life that I never thought I would get out of. Just when I thought I was about ready to give up, which I mostly had anyways, God breathed life back into me. I had lost all sense of purpose in my life and had completely lost direction. God has lead me to do my own blogging. Because of my own spiritual destruction, I did not want to make God an in your face thing. And I have been kind of struggling with how to separate the two. I want to reach non believers and I had thought that if I mention God’s name, it will turn people away. So, your post here made me cry because it reminded me of the hurt I hurt because such an important part of my life had been destroyed. I give hope to people with my career as a therapist. But what you did, was give me hope. You have inspired me so much and now have made me reconsider my transparency. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you for being brave. Thank you for reminding me that I should never be afraid to talk openly about God.
Beautiful. It is amazing how God works. Thank you for sharing,
Hi Eva! I was so touched by your post, it is so inspiring to think about and manifesting all the goodness you’re living by trusting in God. I’ve always been the type to direct my own steps instead of putting my trust 100% in Him. He has been so good to me, just like He has been to you and your husband. I’m also happy that you got over the fear of riding a motorcycle and you both can share that love and happiness you both desired for so long!
Thanks so much,
Suly <3
All I can say is, WOW! I was totally engrossed in your story and all the heart wrenching details. I wondered if he would get another bike after such a horrible accident. And he did! Such growth for the both of you!! Safe and happy travels!! CHEERS!
Beautiful post – tender, vulnerable and ALL those marks that make it a God story! I LOVE how He takes our fears, turns them on their heads and shows us His greatest treasures! SURRENDER -I love the beauty, complexity and depth of that word. Thank you for sharing your story!
Loved reading your story!
How wonderful to hear how God worked things out in your lives with love and protection and how He gave you both desires in your hearts ♥️ A testament to His love and grace!
Thank you for your story! It is inspiring to me that you worked out your fears.
Eva, Your story is an inspiration to all of us Motorcycle haters. I too had an experience with riding and have never liked them since, I guess I am a control freak and have never thought about this being an area that I need to give control to God and see what he wants for me. I did like riding once upon a time and might again someday, Who knows. God’s plans are greater then ours.
Thanks for sharing.
Wow, I could not imagine seeing my husband in that kind of situation. I’m glad you were able to get past the accident and discover a new way of life together!
Beautiful. When we let go of our fears it’s amazing what life brings us and what we are able to give to others. Thank you for sharing your story…I had that same fear for my husband when he said he wanted to go sky diving…I kept telling him no way, we had little kids and there was no way I could do this alone…years later, on his 50th birthday, I gave him a skydiving package…funny thing…it is 7 years later and he still hasn’t gone, but knowing he can is good enough, I guess. And that is half the battle…for him anyway.😊
God had to make him have an accident… but it was NO accident. Great story…. Bless you and thank you for sharing.
Your love story is beautiful, thank you for sharing! Love and relationships can be hard, but they are worth it! Thank you for the beautiful story:)
Oh how I love motorcyles but haven’t been able to ride for years. I was never afraid of them I always liked feeling the wind hit me and blow through my hair. I was crazy back then but I do know people who were afraid of them. It can take a lot to get on one if you don’t trust the person driving. But once you get through the fear the feeling on one is amazing. Always made me feel so free.
I was moved by this post! Your narrative is so incredibly vulnerable. A great view on fear and how it holds us back! <3
I appreciate your openness on this subject and how you really brought your faith into the story.
I love how you accepted something that you didn’t originally feel was a part of your life. Very inspiring!
This post really resonated with me. I had to overcome a fear later in life going all the way back to a tragic mountain accident where a friend of mine was killed. I worked through my fear and finally embraced it as a friend.
Wow, that was a powerful story! I am very impressed how you got over your fear of motorcycles. You are a great influence!
What a touching story! My husband is a rider too.
This was nice and beautiful i like motorcycles also but never had the courage to ride one i would love to learn more about them though. I had a friend he loved motorcycles but he died in a motorcycle accident a year ago but one day i might get the courage to get on one but until then i will just admire them from afar.
This really hit home for me, because three years ago I almost lost my dad to a motorcycle accident! God also spared his life, and thankfully he has made a full recovery. He misses riding, but he gave it up for good.
What an absolutely beautiful story. I too believe in faith and thing happening as they should. This is faith in motion. I love your blog!
What a great story! As both a rider and christian, I appreciate all aspects of this. Praying ya’ll have many more years and make lots of good memories riding! God Bless <3
My boyfriend want to ride too, i’m a bit scare of that, but your post is very inspiring
Hello! I loved reading about how you were able to let go of fear and let God work through you. I love that you said, “We will never understand His path for us until we are through it. It is our job to allow Him to lead us to his promises.” Such an important reminder. I’m glad this has brought you and your husband closer together and that you found a church that feels like home!
Absolutely loved reading this. I love motorcycle but have yet to purchase one so I was definitely intrigued to read when I saw the being. This was a great story from many angles and I appreciate you taking the time to share. I never knew about Christian riding groups well definitely have to look that up!